麻豆淫院

If you're single, Facebook and other social networking sites can help you meet that special someone. However, for those in even the healthiest of marriages, improper use can quickly devolve into a marital disaster.

A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that Facebook is cited in 1 in 5 divorces in the United States. Also, more than 80 percent of divorce lawyers reported a rising number of people are using social media to engage in extramarital affairs.

鈥淲e鈥檙e coming across it more and more,鈥� said licensed clinical psychologist Steven Kimmons, PhD, of Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Ill. 鈥淥ne spouse connects online with someone they knew from high school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook. Within a short amount of time, the sharing of personal stories can lead to a deepened sense of intimacy, which in turn can point the couple in the direction of physical contact.鈥�

Though already-strained marriages are most vulnerable, a couple doesn鈥檛 have to be experiencing marital difficulties for an online relationship to blossom from mere talk into a full-fledged affair, Kimmons said. In most instances, people enter into online relationships with the most innocent of intentions.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 think these people typically set out to have affairs,鈥� said Kimmons, whose practice includes couples therapy and marriage counseling. 鈥淎 lot of it is curiosity. They see an old friend or someone they dated and decide to say 鈥榟ello鈥� and catch up on where that person is and how they鈥檙e doing.鈥�

It all boils down to the amount of contact two people in any type of relationships 鈥搃ncluding online 鈥� have with each other, Kimmons said. The more contact they have, the more likely they are to begin developing feelings for each other.

鈥淚f I鈥檓 talking to one person five times a week versus another person one time a week, you don鈥檛 need a fancy psychological study to conclude that I鈥檓 more likely to fall in love with the person I talk to five times a week because I have more contact with that person,鈥� Kimmons said.

Stories of people whose marriages were destroyed by affairs that began on social networking sites abound on the Internet. It鈥檚 enough to make some people swear off online technology for life. Though there are no hard-and-fast rules to follow, there are some safeguards couples can apply to decrease the chance of online relationships getting out of control. For starters, do a self-assessment of why you鈥檙e using online sites.

鈥淟ook at the population of the people who are your online friends,鈥� Kimmons said. 鈥淚s it a good mixture of men and women? Do you spend more time talking to females versus males or do you favor a certain type of friend over another? That can tell you something about how you鈥檙e using social networks. You may not even be aware that you鈥檙e heading down a road that can quickly get pretty dangerous, pretty fast to your marriage.鈥�

Another safeguard is to spell out from the beginning with your online contacts what your expectations are of social networking relationships. Also, it鈥檚 a good idea to not engage in intimate conversation with someone who is not your spouse.

鈥淔rom the start tell your online friend that you鈥檙e not looking for anything more than establishing old contacts with people to find out how they鈥檙e doing,鈥� Kimmons said.

In some instances, couples could share passwords with each other and place the computer in a common area in the house or apartment.

鈥淚t鈥檚 not that people are going to read what you鈥檙e writing, but they鈥檒l see what you鈥檙e doing,鈥� he said. 鈥淭hen it鈥檚 not a secret.鈥�

Couples can also set parameters around how much time and when they are online each day.

鈥淚f you鈥檙e doing this at 2 o鈥檆lock in the morning with no one watching because you don鈥檛 want anyone else to know about it, that should be a signal to you that this is something approaching a boundary line or you鈥檙e at least moving in that direction,鈥� Kimmons said.