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This back-to-school season, students across Quebec are adjusting to a significant policy change: cellphones are now fully banned in elementary and secondary schools. This conversation, though contentious, is , nor is it unique to Quebec.

With stories ranging from teenage suicide after to feeding parental anxiety, policymakers worldwide have been responding to rising concerns about the effects of digital technology on youth.

But as researchers of everyday technology use, we argue that a ban alone overlooks a key challenge that families face: once children return home for the day, parents must independently manage tech-related negotiations. But because much of children's online activities are hidden, it's difficult to set boundaries and maintain open communication.

Parents need digital literacy

According to l'Observatoire de la parentalité et de l'éducation numérique, a think tank based in France, believe that they lack support when it comes to the digital education of their children.

that the issue isn't just screen time, but the invisibility of children's activity that fuels household conflicts.

For example, a teenager we interviewed used gaming to stay in touch with friends, but his mother saw it as a way to isolate himself. A simple conversation might have eased tensions, but the stigma around gaming made it harder.

These misunderstandings widen the digital literacy gap between parents and children.

Thinking beyond screen time

Screen time alone doesn't tell us much about youth's online activities. , and show that than offline ones. Context matters: what children are doing, with whom, and under what conditions.

Focusing on gaming, our study explored how families experience technologies at home.

We found that parents worry not only about gaming itself—often seen as isolating and unproductive—but also about how it disrupts routines. A child refusing to quit a game for dinner is one example. Because technologies are designed to absorb the user, their impact on others in the household is often overlooked.

The challenge of invisibility

These struggles are worsened by the invisibility of online activity. Watching a child at a screen offers no insight into whether they are bonding with friends, arguing with strangers or facing harm.

We found that this opacity complicates household negotiations.

Parents certainly do set limits: "one hour of gaming," "no phone after 9 p.m.," but without understanding gaming dynamics, these rules can feel arbitrary and unfair to teens.

In our study, players were often caught between competing demands: leaving mid-session could mean penalties or letting down teammates, while staying online clashed with family expectations like coming to dinner. These clashes left parents feeling disrespected and children feeling misunderstood.

Why bans fall short

From a policy perspective, banning devices in classrooms may reduce distractions, but it does little to help families manage tech use at home, where tensions quickly resurface.

Evidence from abroad shows bans rarely solve deeper issues.

In Australia, for example, where several states restrict phones in schools, .

Fostering literacy and dialogue

If we want to support families, we need to better understand the hidden aspects of digital life. This means helping parents develop the literacy to ask informed questions, grasp usage contexts and negotiate fair rules.

Phones and gaming consoles are often treated as private devices which leaves parents guessing about what's happening behind the screen. Dialogue helps, but parents need specific support systems.

In Quebec, for example, Vidéotron has partnered with to offer .

In our study of competitive gamers, we found that such initiatives show how intermediaries can act like coaches: guiding youth and adults toward healthier, more balanced tech practices. Rather than leaving families to navigate this alone or relying solely on school bans, structured support can make the invisible side of technology more manageable.

It also means recognizing that technology use is rarely solitary. A child gaming is connected to peers; a teen scrolling social media is navigating complex social pressures. By acknowledging these connections, parents can move beyond screen-time limits toward conversations about safety and balance.

Our research shows that when families can talk openly about online life, even if parents don't fully understand the platforms, tensions ease and rules become easier to follow.

Where do we go from here?

Technology will always evolve faster than policy. And while bans may offer short-term relief, they're no substitute for open dialogue, digital literacy and patient understanding at home.

As the new school year begins, the real challenge isn't just deciding whether phones belong in class.

It's finding realistic ways to support families in navigating a digital world where much remains hidden from view.

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